Being Paparazzi In Malta

I often envision my most vivid memories from every trip as visiting a famous landmark or trying out a popular activity. Sometimes, the little things, like having great conversations with the locals, are the most treasured memories. But for the most part, they were always tied to local culture one way or another. So it was a bit of a surprise that the most interesting experience on this trip had nothing to do with Malta. For more than twelve hours, we were the unwilling paparazzi.

One night, we had a dinner reservation at Tal-Petut. It is one of the most popular restaurants that specialize in Maltese home cooking, and it was a meal that I was genuinely looking forward to. There was just one caveat: the restaurant is located in Birgu, a historic city that was the headquarters of the Knights Hospitaller during the Great Siege in 1565. Located across the Grand Harbor from Valletta, this quaint medieval city is particularly well-known for its charm and idyllic waterfront. Birgu was definitely on my must-visit list on this trip.

Approaching Birgu on the public ferry from Valletta.

It was a pleasant 10-minute ride on the public ferry from Valletta and a short walk along the harbor front. As we happened to catch the ferry just as the sunset setting, the ambiance on the deck was magical. As the ferry entered the marina of Birgu, Brian overheard a woman talking to her family about how an American reality television, Below Deck, is currently filming in Malta, and the yacht was parked right at this marina. You can not believe how immediately Brian perked up upon hearing that. His eyes immediately scanned the harbor to see which yacht was used for this season. For the rest of the evening, he was hyper-aware, as if one of the cast members or the camera crew would appear out of the blue.

For anyone who has never heard of Below Deck, let me provide the best synopsis I could develop. Bravo, an early pioneer of American reality television, produces the reality show. Each season of the show followed a crew on various chartered trips around the Mediterranean. Because the crew works in tight quarters and deals with wealthy (often overprivileged) charter guests, temper tends to fray and manifests over-the-top drama over the smallest slights. The “exoticness” of the yachting contributes to the show’s long-running popularity. Yachting is a big business; many yacht owners lease them out to management companies or independent contractors to operate them when not in use. For me, the most remarkable aspect of the yachting world would be the number of tips the charter guests gave. Making $800 a day in gratuity is not unusual in this line of work.

Nope, this is not the yacht of Below Deck. — Nope, this is not the yacht of *Below Deck*.

Even though the show traveled to all kinds of exotic locations that ordinary people could only dream of, the show's focus centered around the ship. Once in a while, the show would venture on land. But if you think they will showcase local culture or landmarks, you would be wrong. Filming onshore typically took place on private beaches, restaurants, and nightclubs. The only “locals” the cast interacted with were limited to those in service trades. Although the network never bills it as a travel show, many of our fellow Americans probably consider the show as such, unfortunately.

“People tell me ridiculous things to watch. I like to get a tab on what’s causing a commotion out there in the public. Tiger King, or something like that. You realize after two episodes that we live in a country with many different strata. Let me put it that way. I watched another show called Bottom Deck or something like that. Have you heard of that? Below Deck, yeah. Do you know Below Deck? It’s a reality show with yachts in the Mediterranean and it was terrible.”

— Rick Steves, travel writer

During the pandemic lockdown, travel writer Rick Steves, a personal hero of mine, did a lot of interviews on just how COVID-19 changed his perspective on travel. Famously, he revealed he learned to cut an onion and turned on his oven for the first time. But my favorite of Rick’s pandemic revelations came from an interview he did with GQ magazine. Some of his friends recommended Below Deck to him. I only wish I could see his reactions and hear his comments. Needless to say, the show is the furthest thing Rick Steves stands for when it comes to travel.

So when we had a couple of hours to fill the next day, I surprised Brian by proposing a trip back to Birgu. Brian has always been a trooper, putting up with my insense sightseeing schedule. So I did feel like he deserved to enjoy something “special,”…. something that was not part of my planned itinerary and that I didn’t care for. There were days that Brian would be watching a marathon of Below Deck, and I was just bored out of my mind. That said, I felt like it was an opportunity to spend a few hours in Birgu. Luckily, we were blessed with a crisp blue sky, and it was definitely the best weather we had thus far on this trip.

As we approached the yacht named Home, Brian became giddy like a kid in a candy shop. I have never seen him so excited about anything on our trip. At the corners of his eye, he spotted the camera crew getting onto the yacht. Undoubtedly, this was the right vessel, so I quickly told him to pose in front of the yacht. Thirty minutes later, a woman with an earpiece approached me and asked: “Sir, were you taking pictures of this yacht?” In that split second, I knew she must be from the production company, and she was on to me for taking the photos. I was quick on my feet by saying: “No, I was taking pictures of the fortress in the back.”

Home, the yacht of Season 7 of Below Deck Mediterranean. — *Home*, the yacht of Season 7 of *Below Deck Mediterranean*.

While that was a good on-the-spot answer, I immediately regretted it. She asked that question as if I had done something wrong. We were on a public sidewalk in a relatively touristy part of town. While I am certain that the Maltese government granted the production company some rights for the media blackout, I doubt they had the right to search people’s phones or cameras. I resented how she spoke to me. For that reason alone, I decided to stick around and be the pain in her butt. Luckily, the yacht was moored just outside of Chill Cafe and Bistro. The place allowed us to park ourselves and follow all the actions.

Being well-versed in the show's structure, Brian was confident that the charter guests typically arrived at noontime. So we ordered a plate of bruschetta and a couple of drinks for them to arrive. Sure enough, all the cast members got onshore at noon to do their lineup for their guests. Being a very casual viewer of the show, I only recognize one person: Captain Sandy. Brian, on the other hand, could pretty much name them all. Although the meet and greet only took a few minutes, the filming took quite a bit longer. Guests certainly took some directions from the production team on where they should stand. As you would expect, reality shows are choreographed, if not outright fabricated.

While Brian and I thoroughly enjoyed sneaking in a few pictures once every few minutes, the real joy of the experience was witnessing an all-out conflict between the production assistant and an actual paparazzi. Honestly, I was amazed that the cast of Below Deck warranted the presence of paparazzi. I always assumed the show was only an American phenomenon. Of course, I forgot the existence of Netflix and that English is one of Malta's official languages. Did a specific publication hire the paparazzi? Or was he selling them in the online marketplace? So many questions!

Of course, the same production assistant who had confronted me earlier did not look kindly on the paparazzi. She did everything she could to block his camera to no avail. It was entertaining to see the two of them playing cat-and-mouse games. Because of my interaction with the woman, I was rooting for the paparazzi. While I was in the bathroom, she even dared to ask Brian whether she could review the photos on Brian’s phone. That was definitely out of the line. Looking back, I regretted not being confrontational with our interaction with her. We should have asked her whether she got a warrant from the Maltese police to search the phone. After all, the crew members were on official duty/filming; it was hardly an invasion of their privacy.

After an hour of spying, we decided to take up a different position. Luckily, Fort Saint Angelo is just steps away. This impressive fortress was once the headquarters of the Knights Hospitaller. The government still leases the upper section to the Sovereign Military Order of Malta. We enjoyed an unparalleled view of the marina and the Grand Harbor from the top of the ramparts. It is also an excellent place to watch the yacht sailing out of the harbor and onto the open sea. For the remainder of our time in Malta, we were constantly scanning the Mediterranean for the signs of this yacht.

The yacht exiting the Grand Harbor of Valletta.

Even though the crew of Below Deck may not have the global stardom of Lady Gaga or Tom Hanks, our rendevous with the reality show felt very special to us; after all, what was the chance that we would run into the filming of a reality show that we happened to watch with regularity?

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